בסייעתא דשמיא
Everything is blue
My pain in my belly I feel
I’m trying to get it in writing
But I’m blank
Hi protector
I’m noticing you
Why are you here
But why do I care
Everything was pain
All was joy
I screamed in agony
But my cry for help was muffled
When I was happy
It felt so good
But that only came
After years of agony
I was medicated
They said I was bipolar
I knew I’m just a kid
Who is able to feel again
I was shut down
Still
Dead inside
I had no oxygen
There was no choice to feel
Everything was blank
The pills did its job
It wasn’t even sad
But it was
It was depressing
The shadow of sadness
Black and dark purple madness
OK
I’m off the meds
Yaaay I’m gon feel
But hey
It’s dark
Unfamiliar voices I’m hearing
I’m so afraid
I want to run away
They chase me
In every corner
They find me
They haunt me
With no choice
I start listening
We’re allies I guess
And now we are friends
I’m cold
My oxygen
Is now pumped by logic
I’m OK for now
I want it back
My emotion
I’m here
Not without a commotion
Now my emotions can speak
So there’s a conversation of three
Can I get a break
I want to be free
I got something to say
Shut up
Get out
Close the door behind you
There is more compassion now
I cradle each one
Everyone gets their turn
Sometimes it’s even fun
Sometimes
All these voices become entangled
They start spinning so fast
And it becomes a mess
I’m starting to learn
How to feel
One at a time
And hold it tight
I feel free to feel
I’m in a new world
I now have wings
I can fly so high
I spread them with joy
Hold my head high with pride
Oops I can’t fly
In this world
Wings don’t apply
I can feel
I can think
I go blank
When I blink
When I’m finally free
I need to sit tight and
Blank
Ouch
I notice my protector
I’m annoyed at you though
I thank you for your service
Are you ready to go
You’re welcome to stay
As long as you need me
No
You need me
Do I
I wouldn’t be here otherwise
Ok so please stay
Whisky or tea
I’m ok
I got whatever I need
So much more than I know
Maybe I’ll need it tomorrow
Thank you Hashem
For taking me on this journey
I know I’m grateful
I’m sorry I can’t feel it
Thank you for that as well
